Bad Boy!

Why am I in the doghouse? Just because I chewed up your favorite book, favorite pillow….a five hundred dollar mattress….and a thousand dollar couch…..I’m still a good boy….I ruff you Momma…..

Last week I dealt with the modern meme of the Karen. I notice the views on this post are abysmal, so maybe it was not the best. As promised, this post I intend to discuss the concept requested by my significant other: why do (some) women end up attracted to “bad” men?

I’ll start the discussion with the news story that prompted the request to write this post.

Casey White is the dapper chap in the photo who won the heart of Officer Vicky White. The article assures us there is no relation….still, we are talking Alabama….if this were Arkansas I’d say this report was surely mistaken. Image from The Guardian.

Essential “Cliff’s Notes” version for those who don’t know or don’t wish to read it….Vicky White was a prison officer for sixteen years. She was “a model deputy” according to Sheriff Rick Singleton (help me Rick! What….don’t get the reference? What kinda movies ya’ll watching these days?). She served as an assistant director at Lauderdale county jail. She had known Casey since 2020, but as far as anyone knew, he was an inmate and she was deputy; so far nobody has come forward saying they had ever expected a relationship. Then she announced her retirement. She sold her home for a song, and on her last day of work, she told everyone she was taking Casey to the local court house for a psych evaluation. While this was contrary to protocol, it evidently raised no eyebrows. Nobody payed any attention, and the two made their getaway (I’ll bet they raise their security standards now…..).

See!? Why can’t more women be more like this one? This guy has some tattoos and is a bit rough around the edges, but I can tell by the look in his eyes he is a good guy. Here is Afton Burton getting her marriage license….so romantic…with her gentleman fiancé. Wait….that’s Charles Mason!? Oh for crying out loud….image from

As you can see from the above photo, there are women who are simply attracted to abusive men. Vicky White was on the run with her (possible) lover for a week, before the police caught up to them, and she shot herself rather than face the music. Afton Burton started writing Manson when she was 17. She was drawn to him because of his environmental writings. She felt certain he was falsely accused, and was actually a heroic environmental activist. She wrote him, fell in love with him, and moved from Indiana to California (are we sure that was why she moved? I mean…..wouldn’t you make up almost any story if it got you out of Indiana?), and in 2007 started visiting him in prison. She pursued this romance until November 7, 2014, when they were granted their marriage license. She was a ripe old age of 26…..Manson was a spry 80 years young. So romantic, I hope they make a Hallmark movie out of it. I can see it now….

Afton Burton is a worldly wise environmentalist….Charles Manson the wrongly accused cult leading serial killer. She finally finds the true meaning of Christmas in a conjugal visit amongst the rats and the roaches of Corcoran Prison. Set you dvr for Hallmark as we present to you….Satanic Serial Killer Santa and the Climatic Conjugal Clown College. Yeah Clarence….I take it back….let me be dead….bring back Pottersville. Just don’t let me remember the horror of Hallmark.

I think this looks kinda like my vision for the aforementioned Hallmark Movie. Romance and the Christmas Spirit aren’t dead… least not till Charlies axe connects. Image (actually) from Silent Night Deadly Night 2, image capture from

“Ok Curtis, you have made your point. Two women fell in love with terrible men. That doesn’t mean anything. Like Joe Rogan’s ivermectin medicine….totally anecdotal.”

Fair point. Is there any science to back this up? It seems likely that there is at least some truth that some women love the “bad boy.” But is there any hard science to help us out here?

The above article in Psychology Today tells the story in some detail, and gives the results of two studies, one a survey of men, the other of women. I frankly don’t care about the first study….I’ve heard too many men brag about their sexual conquests to believe half of what we hear, and to be really blunt….who cares what men think women think (myself included). What women are thinking is what is at question.

The trifecta of evil….the so called “dark triad” is not a Satanic organization headed by Klaus Schwab….it is the intersection of the three most detested personality types, leading to the ultimate bad boy….a man who is a psychopath, a narcissist, and Machiavellian…..just add the curled mustache and a bald head and you have a Bond villain. Graphic from Wikiversity.

According to the study by Gregory Carter of the University of Durham, a survey of 128 female undergraduates (granted, not a perfectly random survey, and I think likely there need to be more follow up studies, but hey, it’s a start) found that the women surveyed significantly preferred the Dark Triad traits in a potential partner to “control” traits.

So we’ve established there is at least some science supporting the “bad boy” hypothesis. But the tired blogger is getting a bit too tired. So….I will continue with part three of this series, hopefully I will post it by Friday. I intend to discuss why women do this, and how we can make the situation better. (Yeah Curtis….and I want a unicorn and a billion dollars for Father’s Day……)

Myths provide structure for our lives, help us make sense of the chaos around us. One of the most beautiful, and most dangerous of myths is that of the Beauty and the Beast. The uncouth bad boy who grows up into a good man because of the love of a woman. It is the same story that is told in romance after romance, from Enkidu and Shamhat in 2100 BC, to Fifty Shades of Gray in modern cinema. My favorite version of the myth comes from the tv series Once Upon a Time. Like most shows it jumps the shark, but in the first two seasons, the love story between Belle and Rumpelstiltskin reminded me of what it was like to love hopelessly, and also why we often choose to harden our hearts in the false notion that love makes us weak.

And, since women like bad boys….ya’ll can fokken thyselves! I mean….have a nice day.



  1. NorthernOkie says:

    🎶Bad Boys, Bad Boys, what’cha gonna do…?🎶

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Curtiswselby says:

      Do you have a bill of sale for those droids?

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Curtiswselby says:

      Soldier man give you no break….Imperial Stormtroopers give you no break

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Matthew Miller says:

    It begs the question,

    “Why not choose a good man, instead of the bad boy, and skip the extra steps?”

    But, I’m just a dumb guy and couldn’t possibly understand the intricacies of the female psyche.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Curtiswselby says:

      Indeed us men are fools. If we put our woman first we are weak and deserve to be abused. But then if we don’t we are selfish narcissists, and someone like you and me takes that seriously….only to find the deck is stacked against us. And I don’t think we are going to be dealt better cards to level the playing field


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